Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Tuesday, March 29, 2:13 AM. Phil Kelly couldn't believe his luck. Middle-aged, a little chubby, balding where he wasn't gray - and he was going home with the hottest babe at the bar! He had to keep glancing at her to convince himself this wasn't a dream; but there she was, big as life. Blonde and tanned, decked out in a thigh-length halter dress that fit like it was painted. He could see her nipples clearly through the supple fabric, and her legs went all the way up to her neck.

She smiled as she caught his look. "Almost there, lover." She gave him a long slow wink to go with the smile and the hand she lazily drew up his thigh.

Hormones he thought he'd never use again were flooding his brain, washing out anything resembling rational thought and he was sure his pants were going to explode if they didn't get there soon.

Then the driveway loomed up in the headlights and they were turning in to a rather ordinary house, one like a dozen others they'd already passed. Single-story, red-brick, with white shutters and a chain-link fence surrounding the back yard. Sophie got out of the car, then turned back to look at Phil.

"Well, what are you waiting for, an engraved invitation?"

Truthfully, Phil was waiting for his straining erection to stop straining quite so much, but fearing the golden goddess would change her mind, he took a chance and stepped out of the car. Sophie unlocked the door - "After you!" - and led him into the living room.

"Make yourself comfortable. I'll get us something to drink and change into something more scandalous." She blew him a kiss and his erection surged again. He'd taken off his jacket and loosened his tie when she came back in a lacy scrap of nothing. "Phil, can you help me in the kitchen, please? These damn wine bottles… I always have trouble getting them open."

Phil followed her swaying derriere into the kitchen. There was a bottle of wine on the countertop, but he didn't see a corkscrew. For that matter, where was Sophie?

"Sophie? Where'd you go? Where's your - ? Oh. Oh, shit."

Phil screamed then, screamed and screamed and screamed till his throat was raw.

He needn't have bothered.

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