Exton

I don't know how long I've been lying here, burning up, writhing, snapping, snarling - dying. I have a vague confused memory of faces, voices, here and then gone in the instant. How long have I been like this? Time has no meaning here. I think I remember Raina… but then the memory slips from me on a wave of fire, fire that blazes in my veins and ignites my flesh.

How long, how long must I endure this?

"Niccch-o-lasss…."

The voice is soothing, cooling even; I feel as if my temperature has plunged ten degrees, the awful heat abated somewhat. What the fuck…? I feel almost lucid, for the first time in who knows how long.

"Niccch-o-lasss…."

The cooling voice is female, young, sweet… familiar. Who…?

I can see the owner of the voice now. She comes shrouded in shadows and fog… not very tall… young, just a child, really… I should know her, shouldn't I? Who…?

The voice is sweet, almost seductive. I want to go to it, to wrap myself in its coolness, lose myself in it, lose myself….

Is it Death? Is it time to keep my long-postponed appointment with the Reaper?

"Nicholas." The voice is gently chiding. "That time is not yet. Not yet for you the True Death. Endure, for your deliverance is at hand. Endure, brother…."

The fog floats aside for a second, the shadows rise….

"Emily?!!!"

The shade claps its insubstantial hands delightedly. "You do know me! You have not forgotten me! Oh, Nicholas, I'm so glad!"

"What… is this… place?" The words are painful, halting, heavy as lead.

"This is a place between, Nicholas - between Light and Shadow, between life and death. I have been with you always, but you could never see me until you reached this place."

"Then I am dying."

"If that is what you choose." Emily's face is solemn, her eyes impossibly large. "You stand at a crossroads, brother. You can come with me to the other side, or you can choose to stay with your friends and lovers. The choice is yours.

Should you choose to stay, the pain will continue and grow worse, and you will think this but a fever dream; but I tell you here and now: this is real. I am real, as real as you, brother."

"Emily." My face is wet with tears. Vampires have no tears, but it's true nonetheless. "Emily, I've missed you so much!"

"And I you, dear brother. But I am with you always, though you may not be aware of my presence."

"I failed you. I let those men take you…." I can say no more.

"Everything happens for a reason, Nicholas. My death was part of a larger plan, one that brought us here, now, one that is still unfolding. Do not be bitter, brother. I never blamed you for what happened, and I love you now as I loved you then. You did what you could, and what you did was well done. No man can ask for more."

"Oh, Emily…!" - and the tears come again.

"Remember me with fondness, Nicholas, and know that I am always with you. You have not lost me; you can never lose me, and when your time comes, when you meet the True Death - I will be waiting.

But now you must choose, my brother, for I may no longer stay. I was granted but this little time, to let you know that you may choose. That time has now come.

If you stay here, the pain will continue and you will fear that you will die; but you will not. Love will save you, Nicholas, the love that another bears you.

If you choose to go, the pain will end, immediately, and we will be together again; but you will lose those you love who still live, and when the time comes that your hand is needed, it will not be there.

I have said all I am permitted, Nicholas. You must choose."

My mind whirls - with the fever? What impossible choice is this?

Then there is another voice, or rather a Voice.

"It is the choice made with every heartbeat, by all those who draw breath - and those who do not. To live in pain, in the hope of making something better, or to release life and pain, but to deprive the world of all the things you might have done, before your time comes.

Choose."

Emily is lost in shadow and fog again, and I breathe my choice….