Exton

I wake - with K'thyri curled sweetly around me - in Raina's room.

Looking around,  I'm struck by how little Raina's personality has stamped itself on her surroundings. I'd expect some Viking stuff - copies of the Eddas, swords on the bedposts, maybe the head of an enemy mounted over the mantel - but there's nothing like that here. Of course, there's no mantel, either.... Dirty clothes in the hamper are virtually the only sign that this room is inhabited at all.

I smile, remembering the message I found on my voicemail after Ky and I made love.

"Hey, lover. Just wanted to let you know I'm spending the night with Nick tonight. You can have my room if you need it" - I can almost hear the smile in her voice - "just don't make too big a mess - and don't do anything I wouldn't do!" Her voice drops to a confidential level - "Or if you do, make notes so we can try it later." The smile is back in her voice. "Have fun. Love you. 'Bye."

Not for the first time, I wonder about that last part. I know already that there's depth to the relationship that I share with my lovers - that there's respect and affection from Nick and Raina individually as well as collectively. We don't just fuck - we talk, all the time, about all kinds of things. Still, this is the first time she's used that word in connection with our relationship, and Nick never has.

Myself? I've been holding myself back from a full commitment precisely because I don't know if this is going to last. All of us are long-lived, and to have the relationship go sour - well, that's potentially a long time to be unhappy together. Add to that the fact that all of us are pretty closemouthed about our feelings and you could have a recipe for disaster.

And again, the question circles through my mind, like a hawk waiting to pounce on a mouse: did she mean it, or was it just an expression? Like Scrooge, I get tired of pursuing it; but the more I resolve not to think about it, the more I think about it.

Ha! You try not thinking about the purple giraffe, I dare you!


I rest my case….


Ultimately it's K'thyri who stops the ceaseless revolution of my thoughts, by stretching - pressing every inch of that delightful little body into mine - smiling, and reaching for me….