Saturday, November 26, 2011








There's a human hummingbird moving across the dance floor like she has springs in her hips - young, maybe mid-20s, blonde, short skirt, tank top, big smile, legs up to her neck. I've never seen her before; I would have noticed. I wonder who she is?

The dance she's doing is hard to describe. It looks to be part belly dancing, part bump and grind, part improvised. It's clear she's having a blast, though; if that grin got any wider, the whole top of her head would come off. She's a sassy little flirt; she's noticed the guys noticing her and she's playing to them. Could be she needs the reassurance of knowing that guys - and some girls - are ogling her ass, or maybe she just likes giving them a thrill. Flip a coin, you pays your money and you takes your chances.

She sees me sitting in the back and moves on, her hips moving like Jello on a washing machine on spin cycle. A moment later she's back, giving me an odd look. Well, that's fairly common; I get lots of odd looks. But then -

Oh fuck, don't let her be coming back here, don't let her, don't let her....

She comes right up to my table and says "hi". Thanks ever so much... "Hi."

"I'm Eira."

"Jack Stone, pleased to meet you."

"I saw you watching me dance out there."

"Everyone with testosterone was watching you out there; some with estrogen, too."

She grins hugely and I wait breathlessly for the separation. "You say the sweetest things..."

Mental eye roll. What the hell was sweet about that? No matter how long I live, I will never understand women....


"Come dance with me."

Fuck, not again.... "Look over there. You see that girl over there, the one that looks like her hair is on fire? Go ask her about dancing with me...."

"What's the matter, you scared?"

"Yes!"

She smiles. Pepsodent should know about this girl.... "Dance with me." She grins. "You don't know what you're missing...."

"Yeah, I do, and I know what you're missing, too."

"Oh? What would that be?"

"Severe and permanent damage to the metatarsal region."

She grins. "I'll chance it."

I sigh. Fools rush in.... "Okay, but there's someone you should meet first. Come with me."

Eira follows in my wake as I head toward Rowan's table. She raises an elegant eyebrow at my approach. "Hi, Jack. Who's your new friend?"

"Rowan, this is Eira. Eira... Rowan. She's our local sawbones." Rowan's mouth twitches a little at that. "Keep an eye on us, will you? Eira wants to dance with me and I want first aid to be close by."

Rowan rolls her eyes. "You're not that bad, Jack."

"You've never danced with me. How would you know?"

Rowan waves a hand. "Go. Dance. I'll be by later to pick up the pieces. Come back without major injury and I'll buy you both a drink."

I give Eira my patented I-told-you-so look and lead her out on the dance floor.

It's as bad as I feared. Eira moves like she has no bones and I dance like a spastic kangaroo. It's enough to embarrass Rick Moranis.

"Now I know why you were worried. You need to relax, Jack. Look, come here. Put your arms around me."

The girl is crazed. I do as she says. Might as well get it over with....


"You can hold me closer than that. Come on, relax. I won't bite."

I obediently draw her nearer till I can feel her breath warm on my cheek. "That;'s better. Close your eyes, feel the way I move and follow me."

And we're headed for major embarrassment faster than the Wabash Cannonball....

Eira is soft and warm next to me and she snuggles in closer still - close enough to cause a definite reaction. She grins lasciviously. "Well, hello Jack! I was afraid you weren't going to make it...."

I hold my breath; and after an age I manage to gain control of my breathing.

"Mmmmm, this feels nice. See, you can dance, you just need a little incentive."

It does feel good... well, Eira feels good, anyway, soft and yielding and curvy in all the right places. My mind, wayward little scamp that it is, starts imagining her skin against mine... and that's it. My hard-won coordination goes straight to hell and suddenly it's like I'm on a roller rink. It ends with me falling flat on my ass and pulling Eira down on top of me. She giggles maniacally, then whispers, "Well, as long as we're here...." The kiss is pure nitroglycerin and it's hard to decide whether we should stand up or not. If I stand, my problem will be readily apparent to all; if I don't, it's just going to get worse.

Mental head scratch....

"Do I know you from somewhere, or did one of the people here put you up to this?"

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