Monday, January 24, 2011

I'm sick at heart. I thought Raina trusted me. Hell, she's been sleeping with a fucking vampire for months now! She's strong, but I'm stronger. I could have ripped her throat out and drained her dry anytime I wanted.

And to add insult to injury, I didn't do a damn thing with Gareth!

I can feel the anger rising, and for a moment I feel the need to Hunt. My fangs slide forward, my nostrils flare, scenting for prey - but I push it back with an effort and turn to Erik and Star.

"I think maybe I need to explain some things, if you guys are still talking to me."

Erik's eyes are hard on mine, but Star's are wide with concern… and then there's what she just said….

"Just on the off-chance that you're not a complete asshole, I'll listen to you," Erik says finally.

We troop downstairs and find a vacant booth. The first thing I do is signal Patti to bring me over a bottle. I'm going to need control to do this.

I take a couple shots while Star averts her face, then begin.

"You guys were there for the big blow-up between Gareth and the Wicked Bitch, so I'm not going to go over that again." Erik's face is noncommittal, but Star is hanging on every word, if her face is anything to go by. "Did you happen to get a look at his face when she told him that she'd killed his friend?" Erik shakes his head, but Star nods. "The man was hurting, and I thought he might like a friendly ear. He started trying to drink himself into unconsciousness, and I got him to slow down and talk to me. He told me about Conal and some about Morgan and what it was like for them." Erik's face betrays an avid interest now, but Star looks just the same.

"I got him to come up to my room so if he passed out, he'd have a place to sleep it off - and that's just what happened, with a little help from me. I got him undressed and tucked him in, and then I got undressed and got in with him. It was stupid - I realize that now. I could have gone to Raina's room to nap, but I really thought I'd just grab forty winks and then go back downstairs to join her. I guess she came up and found us together and came to the obvious - but wrong - conclusion."

The light dawns in Erik's eyes, but then he looks all confused again. "But why would she think you'd been with… ohhhhh."

I almost laugh at the look on his face. If my heart wasn't bleeding itself to death, I probably would. Instead I meet his eyes and say quietly, "So now what? I love your sister and I thought she loved me and now I may have fucked up the best thing that's ever happened to me. What do I do now? Do I wait for her to tell me to go to hell in person, or take it for granted that she's going to and leave before she can? What would you do if you were in my place?"

Erik bristles. "I wouldn't be in your place."

I rise from my seat, my eyes going red. My voice is acidic. "Thanks so much. That's a lot of fucking help." I step out of the booth, taking the bottle with me and go to the bar. I make arrangements with Monty for another room, just for the night, but I can feel Erik's eyes on my back all the way upstairs.

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