Exton

Weapons training. Ack!

To their credit, they took my strengths - speed, balance and agility - into account when they chose my weapons. I'm working with a pair of swords, trying to see which works out best. One is about thirty inches worth of slender, light blade, coincidentally called a smallsword. The other is also small and light, but maybe ten inches longer, called a estoc for gods know what silly-ass reason. Oddly, the longer blade seems to work better, not that they're taking my word for it; they're gonna work me with both swords till I drop in my tracks and fall on my poofy tail.

Okay, I kid. My tail's not all that poofy if I'm not a squirrel. Truth is, it's discouragingly flat, much like my chest. Still, it's not like the male of the species is all that studly, either. Squirrels are - well, squirrels. We're known for being cute, not particularly sexy.

Not that my well-known cuteness is doing me much good against the Ox That Walks Like A Man. Yeah, Erik told me they weren't gonna take it easy on me, but he never told me my first instructor would be Guunnar! Hell, he doesn't even have to connect to knock me on my ass; just the wind from his swings is enough to bowl me over. He's waaaay too fucking agile for a guy the size of the Statue of Liberty. It's just not fair....

I think I took him by surprise, though. He didn't know that I could jump over my own head, even in human form. That was good for just one attack - and I didn't score on him - then he started adapting to it. Fuck. Big, strong, agile and fast; it's just not fair....

Did I mention that these blades are slender and light? That means that I can move pretty fast, which is good; it also means that, if a heavier blade hits hard enough, it's apt to snap mine in half. Not so good. Did I mention that Guunnar is using a Viking longsword, about five times the weight of mine?

Geez, how'd I forget that?

Ohhhhhh, holyfuckingCRAP!

And once again I'm on my none-too-well-padded ass. Maybe I should learn to fight from this position; it seems I'm gonna spend a lot of time like this, and Guunnar's not even the scariest guy I'm gonna be learning from. I actually haven't decided who that is, there are a lot of contenders for the crown - Nick, Keon, Ramji, K'thyri - maybe even Mortuis, who's been using a sword practically since they were invented, if you believe the rumors. Next time I'm wearing bike shorts; at least then my ass will have some padding to land on....

Woo-hoo, I got him! It was an accident, but I scored on Guunnar! He now has twin belly-buttons, one just to the left of the original. Oh gods, the look on his face...! He looks like someone dropped a tree on him!

Now I'm up and moving again. I think I have the hang of this swordfighting thing now; the estoc is more for thrusting than cutting, which explains why only the last six inches of the blade is sharp; so while Guunnar's swing is following through, I can poke him two or three times. Ha-ha, got you now, you big doofus!

Ohhhh, fuuuuuuck, not again!

Now I know what they mean when they say "Pride goeth before a fall"....

Gods, my ass is sore....